In the last few years, sologamy or wedding ceremonies where people marry themselves have started to happen like a wave in Western countries. It has now come to India as well. Kshama Bindu, who lives in Vadodara in the western state of Gujarat, recently got married in a traditional Hindu ceremony.
On June 8th, she dressed in a red wedding dress, put henna in her hands and singhara in her hair, walked around the sacred fire for seven rounds as usual, and got married to herself. The ceremony was held at home. Pre-marriage rituals like the Haldi festival (applying the bride's body with turmeric mixed oil) and the sangeet festival were also performed on the same day. After the wedding, she will leave for Goa for a two-week honeymoon.
All the celebrations are there but the only difference is that there is no groom for the marriage. Perhaps this is also the first self-marriage in India. "A lot of people tell me that whoever I'm friends with is lucky," said the 24-year-old sociology student and blogger. "Then I tell them 'I'm the lucky one'". Bindu says that she is devoting her life to "self-love" by marrying herself.
"Self-marriage is a commitment to yourself. It allows you to choose the lifestyle and lifestyle you want and live a beautiful, happy life. It shows that I have accepted my various abilities, especially my weaknesses. That is what I see as weaknesses, whether mentally or physically, or emotionally. I think this marriage is a good way to show that I have accepted myself. I am trying to show that I have accepted myself. Whatever my good or bad [that I accepted]."
Her family also gave her their blessings and her friends also attended the event. "My mom used to say, 'Shah! You're always thinking of something new'. My parents were very open-minded. They said, 'As long as you're happy, we're fine with it,'" she added.
The idea of "marrying yourself" first became news when Carrie Bradshaw, a character in the hugely popular American soap opera Sex and the City, talked about it almost 20 years ago. But the series was a comedy. Since then, hundreds of such "marriages" have reportedly taken place, mostly by single women. Some brides get married in beautiful wedding dresses, carrying a bouquet of flowers, and sometimes cheering with family and friends. In one highly unusual case, a 33-year-old Brazilian model was "divorced" three months after her self-imposed "marriage".
Businesses around this have become popular in many parts of the world, and wedding packages include wedding rings, invitations, etc. But since such things are still unknown in India, Bindu's wedding has become the talk of the country. A mental health expert we spoke to seemed "surprised" at the reasons behind monogamy.
"It's a very strange concept to me," said Dr. Savita Malhotra, former dean, and professor of psychiatry at PGIMER Hospital in Chandigarh. "Everyone loves themselves. There is no need to create an external image to show it. It is something inherent to all of us. Also, marriage is the coming together of two people."
This news is also discussed on social media. Some praised her saying that she would be a role model for many. But many people found it difficult to understand the concept of monogamy. One surprised woman took to Twitter to question what the point of marriage is if no one else is involved. Another said Bindu seems to be trying to run away from her family responsibilities. Some criticized monogamy as "absurd and pathetic", and blamed it on "chronic narcissism".
Bindu has "only one thing" to say to her critics: "It's my decision to marry whoever I want, be it a man or a woman or myself. And by marrying myself, I want to normalize monogamy. I want to tell people, You came into this world alone and leave here alone. So who can love you more than you? If you fall, you have to pick yourself up."
Cheers!
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